In my work with the Inner Circle, a monthly membership group for women, we are looking at our eating in Body, Mind AND Spirit. In other words, what does your diet consist of beyond carbs and proteins? What do you read, watch, listen and talk about? How much stress are you eating on a regular basis?
This week, we talked about something even harder to ponder: What do you feed others? Have you ever thought about it?
Which friend are you in your community group? Family group? Work environment? Are you the Poison? The Medicine? Or mostly neutral?
You might be surprised.
“When an event is flagged as negative by the brain, it’s stored differently and more carefully by the hippocampus. He likens the brain to Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive or neutral ones.” Rick Hanson
Ponder that. With our human brains, we are naturally more fully present in our negative experiences than positive ones. That’s how we are wired! In fact, this is one of the ways we bond! We sync up most easily with one another when we are sharing how bad things are. When we are gossiping about others, dissing politics, complaining how tired we are…etc. We hold those negative experiences like velcro. In fact, it is in these more negative experiences that we can find connection more easily with others. Yet, what does this negative wildfire do to a community?
Think about it: One critical review of a business can sink the ship. One bad review will spread so easily through your friend group that your experience, it has been reported, will result in your entire friend group not reading a book, watching a movie, going to a restaurant. This is because when we experience something negative we are more likely to tell more people about how bad it was than when the experience went well. I find this fascinating! When we are negative about something, we will tell, statistics say, on average about 5 people. When things are positive, however, we might not say a word. And, words matter. And so do you. So notice what you talk about. Notice what you bond about.
This week: check in on what you feed the people closest to you? Are you mostly posting about fear, anger? #morelovelesshate
Are you sharing hostility or positivity? #mindsetmatters
Are you sharing problems or solutions?#givemethegoodnews
A fun ponder!
Spiderman says “use your powers for good”. And who doesn’t want to be spiderman?
Let me know how it goes.
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