FROM the BOSS PROGRAM
What were your expectations…
My original expectations were that I would get practical support with my job search. I wanted help with things like how to network, how to find a job that is fulfilling and meaningful, how to find a positive, supportive work environment that is a good fit for me. In my work with you, these expectations were met, but I got (am getting) so much more. I have become aware of my patterns of thinking and behaving that create results that are the opposite of what I want for myself. These patterns stem from old experiences and negative self-perceptions that are not the reality of who I am or who I can become. You have helped me recognize and acknowledge these habits of thought and the damage they do. You have helped me see what is true about myself and develop new ways of thinking – new habits of thought, based on awareness and the reality of who I am and who I want to become. You have helped me envision my best self and given me strategies for how to develop and grow into that positive, strong, compassionate person I want to be.
Why did you choose me?
I knew you as a yoga teacher; your classes were my favorite. I loved the concepts you asked me to think about during the practice – what does it means to be compassionate, grateful, joyful or satisfied? Your wonderings helped me take yoga beyond a physical practice, to connect mind and body and, for the first time to truly feel the full benefits of yoga. You are genuine and your integrity and commitment to guide others to get whatever they need from a yoga class made me trust and respect you. So, when I was looking for support and found out you did coaching it was an easy choice.
Three biggest take-a-ways…
1. Self-care is not negotiable. Caring for myself, setting and keeping boundaries for myself, allows me to show up as my best self.
2. I am responsible for how others to treat me. Know how I want to be treated, set clear boundaries with others to communicate how I want to be treated, enforce/keep the boundaries I set. Setting boundaries allows me to be strong and powerful.
3. Boundaries help me hold onto my power. Setting boundaries does not make me a mean or controlling person; it helps me hold onto my power and have a strong sense of self-respect.
4. There are choices of how to think. I can choose to go UP the ladder or DOWN the ladder. (I’m learning how to go UP.)
5. Thinking and feeling are connected – how we think informs how we feel and how we think can change how we feel.
How would you describe me…
The work you do is transformative – it is difficult at times and one must be open and willing to do the work – it is collaborative, personal and highly effective. I think what you do is so effective because you listen carefully and offer insight in a non-judgmental way. You are honest and deliver hard truths in a way that allows others to process what they are hearing and to consider how they might make a change or how they can improve, rather than feeling the need to defend themselves. You are compassionate, supportive and strong. You are a professional and a role model who shows that she is a real person who is not perfect. You have a wealth of knowledge and can share tool and strategies to help your clients build habits, change thought patterns and learn how to understand themselves more fully so that they can make lasting changes, set goals and work to achieve what they want in life.
Anything else you want me to know?
Working with you is changing my life. I am growing in ways I did not expect. I am more self-aware, feel more in control of myself and certain of my life-path than I ever have. You are a gift. Thank you for sharing your talents with others and making the world a better place one person at a time.
“I was in your yoga class today and just wanted to share with you how much I love going to your classes. I have my LCSW and work in healthcare. I really love the way that you weave the two together. Judging from how full your classes are in the middle of a weekday, I’m not the only one!
This was only my second class with you, but it will not be my last. What’s really interesting to me is that the two classes I’ve taken with you were on days I took a mental health day from work (Including today), and your class was exactly what I needed. I showed up feeling pretty activated today, and left in such a zen state I’m surprised I didn’t get pulled over for driving too slowly.
Thank you for being you and sharing your energy and wisdom with the world. Best, C.B.”
Private Yoga Sessions:
“I’m not really sure what my expectations were. My hope was that my body would feel better, and that I would get more fluidity of movement. I certainly have achieved that. I also hoped to achieve a greater sense of calm. Though I’m not sure that I’m overall calmer, I have better tools for calming myself, and I think I’ve gotten a lot better at “quieting the noise” in my mind.”Why did you choose me…
“Your voice and rhetoric are so peaceful, from the very first moment of the very first class I felt a level of calm that was practically foreign to me. I was hooked. Though you are very attentive in class, I felt I wanted more personal attention because I have a tendency to hurt myself when I try to do things by myself because I do things 250% (as you know). What we’ve been able to achieve at home is a revelation.”What are your biggest takeaways:
“(1) MUCH better breathing; (2) letting go, or at least getting closer to letting go, of people and things that do not serve me; (3) general mindfulness of my body and what I am feeding all of my senses.”
“You are truly a rare person. You have an ability to see people and communicate ideas in an easy to digest, non-judgmental fashion. I tell people that you’re magical. You instinctually know what I need and when I need it. Whether the physical work of yoga or asking the tough questions, you can get to the heart of the matter with incredible clarity. And the way you handled your own tragedy, with such courage and grace, is an inspirational model. I am eternally grateful to have you in my life. I look forward to continuing our journey together!!” E.H.
Intimate Yoga – Yoga for Couples Package:
“Hi, Kim. I just want to let you know how peaceful and happy I feel today. I know things are going to change and I will get worked up over something, but right now I feel completely at peace and it is not just a moment, it comes from something bigger. An acceptance and mostly more love. More love for myself and for him.
A lot of if comes from working with you for years, from finally prioritizing my well-being and taking time for myself, and some comes from specifically working with you in the Couples Yoga.
Yes, we have argued since then and will continue to do so but there is a tenderness now that I hadn’t felt in a while. Last night when we were in bed, it just felt so good to be in his arms and be close to one another.
Thank you for being such an amazing coach and person. I’m so lucky to have your guiding light in my life and that I get to watch how you maneuver through all that life throws you. Love, N.D.”
My original expectations…
“My original expectations were to meet myself in the moment where I am living now, to get closer to my core, to hear the voice of my own truth. In addition to all that, you held a compass to helping me clean up stale air and clear situations from the past as well.”
Tools you can sustain on your own…
“I learned to dedicate time and space for sacred meditation practice. The power of yoga is beyond the focus of the pose. To stay aware of breath and being fully present in the here and now.”
3 Biggest Take-a-ways…
“Practicing, noticing, falling and staying in love with myself is a choice. My inner voice is wiser than all the teachings I can collect externally. Develop and stick to my routine, allowing it to evolve as I grow.”
“I was magnetically drawn to your energy and curious on what is the source of that intense zest for life that you radiated. You show up as someone who is acutely present and aware of yourself and your surroundings, but also as a person capable of communicating your personal wisdom. You make a very strong first impression, but more importantly you live up to it. The way you showed up for me in that very first yoga class, is the way I see you now. Your true beliefs and feelings shine through your words. You are teaching by living the example.”
“I came to Inner Gaze Yoga and Kim because I was sick of being sick of myself. It seemed like I was just too eternally tired, busy and over committed to ever get to sit with myself and figure out what I wanted next and how to get it. Kim understood where I was coming from right away. She offered the right balance of kindness and a real focus on holding me accountable to what I said I wanted. Our process did many things for me. Here are a few:
* It created space in my life where there was none. Simple things, like breathing and creating teeny windows of sanity that were all about me, went from seeming impossible and kind of lame to being life lines for me. I suddenly had enough time to exercise, even though i truly couldn’t find that time before I started the process and had tried for months and months.
*There were things in my life I was able to move from urgent to not my problem that I never could have predicted and would not have gotten to alone. Kim pushed me to examine my values, name them and live by them. It was not easy for me but it was a powerful process of realizing that I felt obligated to say yes to certain things in my life that meant I was saying no to the things I valued most. Kim was relentless, and kind, and that combination worked for me in a way that nothing else had.
* For me, traditional life coaching and therapy are great valuable tools that I have used and will use again. However, what Kim brought that I needed now was a way to join my physical, emotional and intellectual selves. There were some life lessons waiting for the almost 50 year old me that lived in my body. I had been trying to think my way to them for years with no luck. The physical process of connecting with myself helped me make physical progress, of course, but also the emotional and intellectual breakthroughs that I needed.
Since finishing my sessions with Kim 2 months ago, I have not slid back the way I sometimes have with other things I have undertaken in my life when the external spotlight of accountability goes away. Kim helped me move the pieces of myself and my life around, just a little bit, in the essential ways I needed to become the next best version of me. I find myself still very much myself but more alive, focused, centered and happy. I am continuing to march toward the goals Kim and I set together and I feel like she is marching right beside me; I can still hear her words and feel her gifts on a daily basis. AMEN. Thank you, truly! XOXO” Lila
“So, in the spirit of wiping up the coffee, here is my perfectly imperfect feedback as related to my experience of working with you for VIP coaching:
You come to my mind literally every single time I am in Triangle pose. Every. Single. Time. I think about you encouraging me to open myself up, to push up to my edge but still find a way to feel calm, centered and comfortable, and to trust myself. It has become one of my favorite poses to do, even on the days when I feel my shoulders hunching and my hips not lining up and my legs getting fatigued, and I think that’s because it is still a pose where I feel cared about and nurtured… but also lovingly challenged and pushed a bit outside my comfort zone.
Using yoga as a tool to help me “get my shit together” has seriously been invaluable. I stay in my head a lot, and really tend to intellectualize. That is a great strategy for me in many many many ways, and has helped me be successful, but it also keeps me really stuck. Getting more tuned in to my body has been super duper transformational. I had lost and gained weight like 23094723 times and one of my big goals in working with you was to learn how to stop that cycle and learn how and what it would take to just maintain. Stop the drama of gaining and losing, stop the cycle of self-loathing, etc., and just BE. I have been successfully maintaining a 115 pound weight loss for over 9 months now, for the first time ever in my life, and I know that my work with you was a big part of figuring out how to do that.
The image attached reminded me of your teeter-totter diagram… I can’t control the storm outside me; I can’t change the many demands and issues that push down on one side of my life (work and family and things outside my control)… what I CAN do is push down on the other side of the equation to help things balance out, and create a boat that doesn’t allow the water outside to come in and cause me to sink. I CAN schedule my time (ummmmmm me and my calendar are still very much a work in progress but I’m trying!), I can ask for help, I can build in self-care activities that are non-negotiable, I can use routine things that HAVE to get done (laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, etc.) in ways that support and nurture and stabilize me, I can do little manageable things every day that help me move along toward bigger goals, etc.
Working with you helped me learn to both slow down and check in with myself and just be… while simultaneously learning how to stop slowing down and just fucking DO something… how to not be paralyzed by wanting things to be perfect and how to tolerate doing enough to be able to move forward.
Yoga offers so many metaphors for me that are so relevant to my life. When I first started working with you, I wasn’t able to do a handstand, and I really wanted to be able to do that. I worked on it. I learned about it. I practiced. I got closer. And then boom finally one day I did it LIKE A BOSS. Like a badass yoga boss. And then, of course, the next time I tried to do it I fell over and almost kicked an old man, but that was pretty boss, too. The metaphor for my life in this is that OF COURSE SHIT IS NOT EASY and of course shit does not go in a neat, straight line. But it doesn’t mean I quit or stop trying again. So, with weight loss… in the past, I had lost weight. I had nailed it, just like I nailed my handstand. But as I started gaining weight back, and falling back in to old behavioral/addictive patterns (the weight loss equivalent of falling out of a headstand and kicking an old man), I freaked out and quit. I didn’t try again. I just threw in the towel and literally put 100+ pounds back on. So, I lost it all again, and WHEN it got hard again (because who doesn’t wobble in the occasional headstand, after all), I regrouped. I said, “Well, hot damn, this is getting hard. let’s figure out what we can do.” And I made my bed because it was a place I could be IN ACTION and it was a thing I could feel good about… and then I planned 3 days worth of meals and asked my friend to come over and keep me company while I cooked. And then the next day, I did more of the same. And instead of gaining 100+ pounds back again, I gained like 7, got my shit back together with kindness and compassion, and am maintaining. I’m pretty sure life will look like lather, rinse, repeat on this, and that I’m much more equipped, now, to face it without so much fear, with much more compassion, and with a much stronger belief in my own capacity to deal.
I feel strong and capable, which has helped me come to a new point of peace with my body even though it shows the ravages of years of abuse and weight loss/rapid weight gain. Oh fucking well. I can also DO SO MUCH COOL SHIT with this body that its imperfections really don’t get me down the way they used to. That, too, has been transformational, and has helped me figure out how to treat myself with kindness and compassion RIGHT NOW, rather than waiting until I think I “deserve it.” Because I deserve it RIGHT NOW.
BOOM FEEDBACK. Mischief Managed. It’s a little stream of consciousness. Maybe one of these days I will mop and wax the kitchen floor, but for now, at least there is no obvious coffee spill.
Thank you, for real, from the very bottom to the very top of my grateful heart and spirit. You have made such a difference in my life.” Mary
“Working one-on-one in private with Kim was essential to my transformation process because it was a time of great vulnerability. Kim fostered trust from the first moment, and therefore, because I was able to be completely open – to allow my true self to be seen – I was transformed by this program. Also, the intimacy of the private coaching process allows for greater accountability. Kim keeping me on track – pointing out when I was falling to old negative ways – helped keep me focused on creating new patterns of thinking and behavior.
Kim is a great listener and is insightful. She can instantly alter her approach depending on what is needed at the moment. When she asks “how are you” at the beginning of each meeting (in person or on the phone), if you are honest and in the moment, you will get what you need from her to really progress. It was the times that I felt the worst yet was brave enough to honestly answer that basic question that I had breakthroughs. If Kim had wanted to stick to a script at that moment or follow what she had on the agenda for those meetings, I would not be where I am today.
Having completed the program, I have stopped putting pressure on myself to perform, to be perfect, to have answers, etc., and I have begun to appreciate myself for who I am authentically. Learning to be whole and worthy just as I am – seeing myself with love – was a revelation to me, and through this process, Kim showed me how to make it be as simple as a choice. This foundation is invaluable, and I now enjoy a daily life that is productive and purposeful and fun. I am no longer worried about if I am good enough; I have true self-worth that I rely on each day vs. thinking that “some day” I will be happy and loved. I look forward to the future for the fact that I know it will bring even more joy and love and that I will share that love with others. To me, this is what life is for, and I am prepared for living it the way I am meant to because of this program and because of Kim Wade.” -Christiane
Received June 2014 “Kim – …this experience was like writing the definition for love…there are no words to really describe it. It’s all in the heart and soul. I hope you can take some of this and share it with others in some fashion, so they too decide to take the step forward into a better way of living:
The person that I was when I began the program, no longer exists. Your VIP program has forever changed me. You will take no credit for my journey, yet none of us could do this on our own. The changes in my life have been so profound, not only for me but for my family. I am a completely different person in all of the best ways.
You start every session where we are, in the moment. There were many days I was crying, or angry or even sick with the flu. You were there every step to support me, guide me, redirect or reflect back to me what was truth. Make no mistake about it, you have a huge heart, but you are tough! There is no BS to be had here.
I often felt that I wasn’t getting it. I felt like I was going to be the only person to fail your program. You would tell me something or ask me a question and my mind would just go blank. I felt like nothing was sinking in. Then one day, it just connects…you are living in a different pair of shoes.
Before, I began my personal journey, I was dying inside. Never did I think this would heal me, bring me closer to god, give me strength, a look at my life from a different point of view.
I learned yoga is not a pose; not a exercise program. Yoga is knowing ourselves truly, in body and in mind.
I own only my emotions and thoughts and not yours. What a huge gift that was for me. I learned that I can have the life I want. I can choose the life I want. I am a phoenix rising from the ashes. I can sleep! I stopped drinking. I am laughing, and I feel joy, even in the midst of much turmoil that currently surrounds me.
I have tools to support me and get me through. I am my best self today because of this program. My 8 year old says it so clearly. “Before mommy met Kim she was sad and cranky. After meeting Kim, mommy is nicer. We spend more time together and talk about gratitude”
I look back in my journals and in there repeatedly is ” I am so grateful for Kim Wade”. I also have gained a pretty terrific new friend, that I adore. Namaste. ” Linda
“I think I can say that the VIP program saved my life. For months I had been struggling with depression and despair, wondering if I would ever find my way out of the darkness. I had taken several classes with Kim Wade and found her approach to Yoga… and life…. to be instructive and inspiring. I trusted her, and that trust was rewarded a thousand fold.
But, it was a bumpy ride. I had been sort of a professional seeker… I’ve studied Buddhism, I’d been to dozens of spiritual workshops and retreats around the world, I had taken countless Yoga and meditation classes, and I had read too many self-help books to count. I was skeptical that yet another program would actually help me.
Certain that I “knew a thing or two” about self-improvement, I completely underestimated the intensity and discipline I needed to make VIP work. I would find ways to skate around, missing sessions, getting distracted, not completing assignments, saying yes to everything, and not having a clue what it all meant.
Kim has taught us that, in Yoga, you ‘use the mat’ as a mirror to truly see yourself. She teaches her Yoga classes that way, so instead of obediently following a series of traditional poses, each of us can find our way through the movements, all the time checking in with our bodies and minds to see where we can challenge ourselves, and where we need some gentle attention — essentially becoming aware of who we are and how we feel.
Well, the same happened in VIP. Kim demands honesty – with ourselves and with her. Before the classes begin, she sends a comprehensive questionnaire that helps us clearly define our goals as well as our barriers. Then she plans the program around what was revealed in the questionnaire and what she learns about you as you work together. She’s a tough but caring coach and she’s 100 percent there with you.
I’ve spent my life hiding my true self; having someone see me so clearly was painful. But finally I put together a realistic assessment of what I saw going on in myself, and to see, understand and accept: “This is who I really am, flaws and all,” was a real breakthrough.
After we’ve both taken a true (and fairly compassionate) look at who I am, we begin the process of making me better. And that’s not better in the sense of losing weight, acquiring a sparkly personality, finding an impressive job, creating a busy social life. Those things might happen, but getting better is about being a more honest, compassionate, authentic person, who’s time is spent on appreciating life, creating joy, sharing your talents, taking your place in the world and making a positive contribution. It’s building a foundation for living a ‘worthwhile’ life.
Then, once again, the smack of reality. You actually have to do stuff to be a better person. Hard stuff. You have to create a schedule –and stick to it. (Ouch!) A routine for filling your days with healthy, creative, positive activities that inspire and nurture your body and soul. Then you have to turn around and share these constructive behaviors with others. You have to do and love and give; you have to make the moments of your life count.
Stay tuned. I have just begun. But every day I get up with a renewed sense of possibilities, with a clearer vision of the ways I can feel good and do good. In all my searching and studying, I never learned a lesson so challenging and complex, yet so exquisitely simple.
Thank you, Kim Wade, for giving me my life back…. only better. xxoo” Cathy
“I thoroughly enjoy attending Kim’s yoga classes. Her instruction is both inspiring to me and grounding. In addition to teaching the yoga postures and vinyasas, Kim always includes in her class a teaching or topic, a lesson for her students to contemplate and to incorporate into our lives. She also includes the notion of gratitude, to be thankful for the teachings of yoga and for what each of us is blessed with in our lives.
The pace of the class is nearly perfect. She moves things along, and yet leaves space for each student toexplore at his or her level. Her skills as a teacher are outstanding. And she always adds some humor. Kim’s teaching is always fresh and creative.”-Martha Smith
Received in July 2014 “Friends ask me what I have been doing since retiring, and my favorite answer is, “I’ve taken up yoga.”
Kim Wade is my yoga teacher. She is my yoga teacher because I always learn something and I always laugh. I can hear her from anywhere in a room and that is so important because her instructions are brilliant. She moves around among her students offering help, offering encouragement and praise.
It isn’t just yoga, but it is Kim in particular and her loving approach to teaching yoga that has captivated my attention to being more mindful of my body and what I can do to nurture it as I grow older. I am an active participant in growing old gracefully.
I look forward to Kim’s classes and to her retreats and I recommend them to anyone of any age, even if you have never experienced yoga before.
It is a great pleasure to look back on a year spent learning something new that has had such a beneficial impact on my life. Kim Wade makes a great partner in that experience.”
Namaste Jennie Henzel
Yoga for Weight Management Course:
“From the first information session for the class, I knew that it would be life changing. Also, it felt like somehow I was destined to find Kim at this moment in life, a moment where I’ve realized that I know how to diet, but I don’t know what is driving some of the eating (and other) patterns in my life. I’ve also wanted to try yoga for some time, but I felt a little self conscious as a big girl in lycra trying to be bendy. In only two weeks of this class, I find that I am really starting to take time for myself and that this, along with our weekly homework, is already starting to create some changes. Kim is an inspiring teacher and her kindness and dedication to each person in this class keeps me motivated to do the homework and be mindful of my actions each day. I am starting to get in touch with the patterns that I’ve developed for eating and I’ve also started to make some connections within the community that is our class. I don’t feel self conscious in class because we are all there for the same reason and because Kim has created an environment of genuine openness and honesty. In class we are learning to hug our muscles to our bones while we are doing poses, but I feel as though I am also hugging this program to my bones, keeping myself and my progress a priority while learning from and relating to others in the class. I highly recommend this class and Kim as a teacher and coach!”- Tamra Wysocki-Niimi
“Kim Wade is an excellent, enthusiastic and insightful coach. She has designed a multi-layered program with diverse opportunities for self-reflection and healing, helping me focus on my own core instead of expectations from others. The program supports me to dig deep, experiencing my strengths and shedding light on anxieties that can keep me from feeling whole. A key part of the plan is a generous community built on support to share our vulnerabilities and our courage.” – Liz Chilsen
“I have been “journaling” and encouraging others to do so for some 20 years. What I have come to learn about MYSELF, however, is that often I am not journaling but rather writing essays that will either be used later in sermon preparation or be published in a magazine. The consistent journalizing on one topic has forced me to do deeper introspection than I would if I were writing for a wider audience, that is other than myself. It has been insightful to get to know myself and see how I have evolved over the decades. Thank you, Kim.” – Rev. Barbara Berry-Bailey, Co-Pastor, Faith Lutheran Church
From the Group Classes:
“It is not the first time that you intuited a specific need that I had, but yesterday was quite astonishing. I am an “injured” runner and amateur athlete, and yoga is one of the avenues that I chose for alternative healing.
Your class was so phenomenal on the whole, a great workout, challenging, strengthening, and reassuring, but when you honed in on the hip-opening poses, I knew that my prayers and intentions were being answered. Something unlocked. I felt the healing, and the pain release! I am not sure what emotional baggage had lodged there, but that pain is gone. Namaste!” Michelle
“My favorite thing about Kim is the way she weaves excellent narratives, poetry, and personal stories into universal themes. Her classes feel like you are writing a great book about yourself. Each breath becomes a different page. Each transition becomes a different chapter. Her spirit and energy empower a curiosity that begs me to understand more about myself, my yoga practice, and my place in this community. She lives yoga. And I use her as an example on how to approach life, set healthy boundaries, and bring the same focus and openness I bring to a downward dog or tree pose into all of my relationships. I also love that she uses the actual Sanskrit names of the yoga poses. Connects our class to the millions of yogi-folk throughout the world.” ~ Justin H. S. Breaux, Professional Photographer
“Kim has abundant, positive energy, and she lives the principles she teaches. She weaves together personal experiences, readings and interactive exercises, making every class an adventure. If you are looking for greater joy and clarity in your life, check out one of her classes. You will be challenged–in a gentle way–to grow and flourish.” Brent Fogt, Visual Artist
“Kim is a true guide into what yoga is supposed to be. She has taught me so much about the way the body stores memory, emotion, and unnecessary repetitive behaviors. I am so indebted to Kim for her beauty of spirit and wisdom. She is truly an angel.” ~Tamar Levinson, Clinical Psychologist
“Through Kim’s classes, I have learned to listen and pay attention to my body, mind and soul and what I have to say to myself instead of what I think the world is saying to me. The better I get to know myself, the better I know how to interact with the world.” ~Paulo Laorden