Well, of course, we are all judgmental to some degree or another – we are human. We judge ourselves and we judge others but are you excessive? Are you downright mean?
This week I have been exploring the idea of standards with some clients and have been pondering it with myself. What standards have you decided, perhaps unconsciously, that all people should live by? What standards do you hold for yourself?
I continue to find that lots of us hold standards for ourselves that even we can’t live up to. What kind of crazy rat race is that? Ponder it. What do you believe is the right way to be?
To always be on time? To keep the house to a certain level of tidy? To like this politician is the right choice but to not like that politician is the wrong choice? We all do it, of course, making choices is part of living your own individual life but where do we cross over to thinking we can control others? How can we live more mindfully?
Ask yourself: where are you most critical with yourself and your loved ones? Ponder: What if the way you are seeing it isn’t the ONLY way? Uh, yeah.
Tara Brach, a psychologist and meditation teacher, tells the story about a cute sweet dog you see in the woods. You go to pet the dog and it tries to bite you. Now, you no longer think the dog is cute or sweet, you feel angry and perhaps fearful of the dog. Then, all of a sudden, the wind blows and the leaves that are on the ground start to move around and you notice the dog’s paw is caught in a painful trap. Your fear and anger turn to compassion. You went from cute dog to mean dog to poor dog. In a matter of minutes. Seeing the situation from a new perspective (another’s perspective) changes your own. Can we do this more in real life?
Play with that. Find areas where you are excessively critical of yourself or others and see if you can reframe the way you think about it? Can you come up with 3 – 5 other ways to see the same situation?
Mindset shifts. Mindset coaching. Free yourself.
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