Continuing on with your day after a hard night of sleep, an argument with your spouse, perhaps a challenging issue with your health is so physically/ mentally draining. It’s so hard to bounce back and regain focus of your day, let alone enjoy it.
The mental current that is moving the fastest for most of us is usually the one with worry or tension and that can trap you. Even when the situation happened hours ago, we can churn in those stressed-out or fearful waters all day. Reliving those moments over and over again. Not only does this damage our bodies (living in an internal war zone of stress and fear) but it also prevents us from being present in the moment we are in. Does that happen to you? Do you get to the end of your day and feel almost numb to what took place?
We do this to ourselves because we get used to this pattern. Just like any habit that we do again and again in our lives, only helps encourage it, the same thing goes with our thoughts. Dwelling in the negative most often creates a solid negative mindset. We don’t like to think of ourselves as a negative person but ask yourself: are my thoughts predominately negative? Am I a negative person?
As we know, the mind is always thinking and we can’t truly stop our thoughts but we sure can choose them. This is why meditation can be so helpful. It doesn’t stop the thoughts, but it allows us a respite from the rote patterning we often can find ourselves in. When we focus our mind on one thing (meditate), we can step away from that rat race and see it more clearly. We can watch the familiar thoughts without getting caught up by them. It’s an outside, big picture perspective. We can see ourselves more clearly and pausing like this is such an incredibly helpful way to get out of the patterning so we can make different choices. And the choice I teach to my clients is: care how you feel in every moment.
In other words, pick thoughts that feel good to you. Pick thoughts that make you feel like you are capable, powerful, disciplined or whatever it is you want to feel in the moment. For example, if I knew I was entering a stressful situation, I might want to feel composed instead of nervous so what thoughts would help me feel that? Practice thinking those other thoughts instead. (If you need help with this work, I offer a weekly Mindset Coaching Program. You can read more about it here: BOSS Program.)
Practicing new thoughts is not easy to do at first. It’s challenging to start to shift the way you think through things because a) it takes a great willingness to be open to seeing the negative pattern we are stuck in and b) it takes a lot of practice to pick a new thought and remind yourself to do it over and over again. Yet, it’s so worth it. To change your mindset from pain and worry to free and present feels so empowering. Imagine that! What would it feel like to get off the negative train? What would it feel like to have a daily respite from getting swallowed in the old mindset and to truly use tools to learn a new way? I will tell you how: it feels amazing. How do we do it?
We start to care how we feel. When something is upsetting to you…care how you feel. When something is frightening…care how you feel. When something feels daunting…care how you feel. It’s not that we skip over the ickier feelings of anger or scared or overwhelmed, we just don’t get trapped by them. And it works.
“Care how you feel”. Practice this mantra all day and see what shows up!
If you want my support in this kind of work, sign up for my BOSS Program .
And, as always, may it be of benefit!